ethosa

dear, parents;

I have a different short message for both of you.

dad: I won't ever forgive what you've done. I can't. It's not in me to forgive your actions. As well as we get along, our happy times will never overshadow the bad times, in the long run. Our arguments have no closure, our inside jokes are always remembered. We get along really great, I think. But for the sake of my childhood, I will never forget the abusive you.

mum: As a child, you were a symbol of comfort and acceptance. I remember crying your name when I was upset, and then dad would push the phone into my arms with you on the other end. You would say, "Toria? Toria, what's wrong?" And I would just cry. I can forgive your absence in my childhood. That is easy to forgive, as now I know all the circumstances surrounding it. The fact no one knew about dad's abuse, is my own fault.

Something I can't forgive either of you for, is how childish and irresponsible the both of you can be. Mum is moderate to highly functioning despite her errs, but dad is not functioning well enough. I don't believe he ever did as I was growing up. I humorously say, "Mama and Yeye raised me," and this is the closest to the truth.

I was not raised by either of you. I was raised by my family, excluding the both of you. To me, you both are more like friends I can't get rid of than parents. Whenever I was asked, "Who are the parental figures in your life?" I can't give an honest answer, because I really don't know. I don't even think I have any.

And I wanted both of you to know these things.

wishing you both well,
kiwa